Question: How do you learn to let people love you?

It takes time to gather trust in other people when you have been abused. Fear is common and normal.

Experiencing sexual urges as someone who is sex repulsed isn’t contradictory in all cases. Sexual trauma wrecks havoc on the experience of sexuality that survivors experience. Sex repulsion isn’t the same as never experiencing the attraction or having hormonal responses.

One thing to learn to let people in is to get into some platonic healing relationships. Find friends who support you, practising healthy relationships and trust with people where sex isn’t seen as an imperative can be really helpful.

Feeling only good for sex is a sucky response sexual abuse can leave. Affirmations can help, reminding yourself you are more. Getting into a hobby, and doing things you love and are good at can help with self-esteem and image.

When you get into a romantic situation make sure you are clear on boundaries, this helps a relationship feel equal.

Open communication is, of course, important, trust takes time and being truthful facilitates it of course. You do not owe them you the whole backstory, especially in the beginning, but practicing letting people in starts to make emotional intimacy truer.

When you’re ready to deal with sexual situation our post about healing a relationship with sex and sexuality may be helpful.

Processing why you have these fears can be important, this can be done with a therapist/counsellor. understanding why you feel this way can help you move on.

Letting people in is very hard, it takes time. But you’ll get there.

-Admin 2

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