Survivors of abuse and IPV may miss it after it ends or crave acts of sexual violence. Those of us who may miss aspects of our abuse often feel like we wanted the abuse, deserved it or will only ever be abused. But we never deserved to be abused, we never wanted it, there are … Continue reading Informational Article: Why Survivors Miss Abuse
Informational Article: What is Gaslighting
What is Gaslighting? Gaslighting is a common form of emotional/psychological abuse and can be used as a tactic in grooming children for abuse. The term comes from Gaslight (1944) a movie where the technique is used by the characters. Gaslighting is sometimes also called "crazy making". Gaslighting is used to make the victim feel as … Continue reading Informational Article: What is Gaslighting
Informational Article: Grooming, What is it?
Grooming is when someone builds a connection with someone to gain their trust for the purposes of sexual abuse, child porn production or sex trafficking. Grooming can be done in person and online.
Informational Article: Trauma Bonding
Trauma bonding is a way to understand patterns of abusive behaviour and how that affects the neurochemistry of the victims, and how that, in turn, relates to how the people in the relationship bond with the abuser. This helps survivors understand why they can miss abusive relationships and why they continued to love their abusers … Continue reading Informational Article: Trauma Bonding
Symptom Explainer: Why Abuse May Feel Unreal
Feeling like what happened to you isn’t real is a very common phenomenon with survivors of child sexual abuse. Here we will look at what fuels this sensation. Some of the main factors include poor memory, denial of trauma, personal downplaying of trauma, societal pressure, and emotional/psychological abuse. Poor memory of childhood trauma is often … Continue reading Symptom Explainer: Why Abuse May Feel Unreal
Questions: Can abuse be Traumatic if you were unaware is was abuse at the time?
Thinking abuse is normal, even how sex and relationships should work, is common with CSA survivors. Most children don’t understand if and/or why sexual abuse is wrong. Kids don’t have a frame of reference of normal sexual interaction and are generally told by their abuser this is normal, this how relationships should go. If the … Continue reading Questions: Can abuse be Traumatic if you were unaware is was abuse at the time?
Coping Skills: Healing A Relationship With Sex After Sexual Abuse
This post is going to focus on our relationship mainly with the concept of sex, masturbation and partner sex. Sexual violence at any age will affect the way the victim of the violence relates to sex. This is heightened with trauma at exceptionally young ages as the survivors never developed a relationship to sex in … Continue reading Coping Skills: Healing A Relationship With Sex After Sexual Abuse
Coping Skills: Ditch Value judgments
Placing value judgments may feel right in the moments either were upset with ourselves or we’ve been trained to see things as good or bad. When we stop judging everything and learn to view things with acceptance it improves our self-perception and makes it easier to move forward and even improve when we need to.
Informational Article: What is Consent?
Consent is an agreement to do something. Consent is imperative in life and if it is not present in a sexual situation then it is sexual assault. What Consent Is: Informed: Every one must know what they are getting into.Free: No one can be under any duress or manipulation.Enthusiastic: Everyone must want to be doing it.Ongoing: Consent … Continue reading Informational Article: What is Consent?
Question: How do you learn to let people love you?
It takes time to gather trust in other people when you have been abused. Fear is common and normal. Experiencing sexual urges as someone who is sex repulsed isn’t contradictory in all cases. Sexual trauma wrecks havoc on the experience of sexuality that survivors experience. Sex repulsion isn’t the same as never experiencing the attraction or … Continue reading Question: How do you learn to let people love you?